Why are we so focused on how we present ourselves?

Let’s think about this first: chasing attention from people. Attention is a great thing! It helps us survive, grow and know who we are, that we matter, and helps us realize that we are loved and each of us is special and valuable.

Why do we require attention?

Let’s think about this first: chasing attention from people. Attention is a great thing! It helps us survive, grow and know who we are, that we matter and helps us realise that we are loved and each of us is special and valuable.

As a baby we would die if we didn’t get the attention we needed from our parents. As a child we would get friends or education. When we get attention from other people, we feel that we are loved, important and alive. When children don’t feel attention, sometimes they provide negative attention. Then you stand out and are the centre of attention even if it has negative consequences. You have done something problematic to get the attention of your parents, this often carries through into adulthood. Everyone just wants to feel loved, special and important and the easiest and most direct way is through attention. It is part of the essence of human beings and we should be aware of its value.

How do we perceive and catch attention?

Attention can be received on so many levels today. From the deepest connection with a loved one to a complete stranger living on the other side of the world writing you a comment in your last post. We have all also experienced and enjoyed a random person paying attention to us for some rational or emotional reason. However, in recent years and with the advent of social media platforms, we have had the opportunity to connect with people from all over the world. With this, came also the possibility to be seen and ‘judged’ by everyone.

We are urged by school, parents or work to express our uniqueness and celebrate the essence of our soul. With such an abundance of opportunities to express ourselves also came the urge to amplify or optimise the essence of who we really are and put it in a better light. And to do everything we can to make sure we get the attention we think we deserve, even fake it.  This had led to people feeling they had to adjust their behaviour, their hobbies, basically themselves. And all this without knowing what others really think. Because we fear their judgement and bullying or to compensate for the attention we didn’t get. Famous people are always an example and we try to follow their path or feel envious of them.

How our relationship with attention changed when we shifted to a digital and online world

It is also interesting for us to distinguish between the online and offline space where we all seek attention. In the offline world, it’s a very straightforward expression.

You can approach the person you want attention from. The response is immediate and transparent. In the online world, however, everything is different.

The online world is not so logical and let’s face it, we wouldn’t want to send hundreds of “friends” a private message with a “Hey! Why are we friends and what do you like about me and what don’t you like?”. Or try to figure out why each person likes or dislikes your post.

We assume that what we put out into the world is our “we”, what defines us and our physical appearance, and that it should be accepted by others. But even if you are true to yourself, sometimes you won’t get the validation and feedback you want. This is often the moment when you can ask yourself: “What did I do wrong?” The truth is: nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong.

It is not your job to anticipate others’ behaviour. And more importantly, it should be none of your business. The important message here is not to react emotionally to feedback and not to take it seriously because it often doesn’t matter in order to stay true to your inner guidance system. We should not make it dependent on what others think about us to decide how we want to lead our lives. It is our own decision and depends on what we want to achieve in our lives and what is important to us. If we are true to ourselves, it makes us happier even if we have to fight against opposition.

But now comes the question: how do I become true to my true self in the social media world and how do I share it?

We at Soulside have some advice for you and give you the right tools and mechanisms to make sure you no longer suffer from living a life you are not true to. 

Since you’re coming here to learn more and discover a new way to express yourself safely and authentically, we want to share with you what we think are good reasons to get online. 

A few easy reasons to find are:

  • Keeping in touch with close friends
  • Sharing your thoughts with the world through beautiful pictures/videos/words
  • Learning and discovering new people and things

A few reactive reasons can be: 

  • Loneliness
  • Boredom
  • Distraction from other areas of your life

If you know and can acknowledge these reasons, you will ultimately be happier and more accepting of who you are. This is not an assessment exercise, but an exercise in curiosity!

What kind of solution exists to express your inner self?

And at Soulside we provide you with the tools and the mechanisms to do this. Not only do we encourage you to deal with “inner self” issues, but we also allow you to share it with whomever you want, be it just yourself, your closest friends or the whole world. Also, the feedback you receive is constructive and non-pejorative. Best of all, you don’t have to choose between posting a picture, a video or a text. You can do it all at once, in our 3D spaces.

You can really express yourself with such a medium! It allows you to truly display your feelings and thoughts with the multitude of possibilities offered You express yourself through creativity, reflecting what is going on inside you. It is not without reason that creativity is said to be the language of the soul. From creativity comes the work that you can talk about and share with others, and get the attention you deserve or desire.

We think it is about expressing and bringing out the real inner values of the human being that everyone has inside and not about how you present yourself to the outside world or how you look.

We hope this has piqued your curiosity and we can’t wait for you to download the app and join others who have already taken this step. See you on Soulside!

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If you are curious about our first blog article on the benefits of creativity, have a look here.